Django Unchained...

 WARNING:  This review contains a few spoilers and harsher than usual language.  If you are offended by the use of the 'n' word then I suggest you not read this review.  All others, please enjoy...


Finally got a chance to see the oft heralded and oft criticized Django Unchained. Here's my take on it:

Funny, poignant, gory, most of what you come to expect from a Tarantino film---it had everything except the long dialogue.  There weren't any long speeches in Django Unchained (and that was a disappointment to me as an avid Tarantino fan).

I didn't have a problem with the use of the word nigger (it fit the time period and location of the film) although I do secretly wonder what the actors thought of being called a nigger so many times by their white counterparts. I wonder how they dealt with that off screen.

The acting of Jamie Foxx was decent. Kerry Washington did a descent job with her insanely small part (she was underused).  Watch for small but very funny cameos by Don Johnson and Jonah Hill. Leonardo DiCaprio did an outstanding job as the slave master and Christopher Waltz as the gentleman that helped Django was brilliant. Samuel L. Jackson was the best actor in the film by far.  His portrayal of the head house nigger was enchanting.

Watching Samuel Jackson on screen in this role made me feel like I was getting my money's worth with every word he spoke.  He perfectly conveys the hate and contempt that the house nigger was supposed to have for his slave counterparts.  Jackson even went so far as to give his character 2 ways of speaking. 1 way broken English that he spoke in front of his master and 1 way was very correct very thought out that he spoke to his master in private; it was a brilliant piece of acting that I'm not sure a lot of people caught.

Overall the plot was pretty basic.  the movie was about a man trying to find his kidnapped wife with the help of an assistant who happens to be is employer.there were a few twists and turns a few comedic moments and an overall sense that the movie was trying to be something spectacular but in the end it just fell a little short for me.

I am trying to be a objective because I am very much a Tarantino fan.  Fans of Tarantino's work will love the movie non fans will only tolerate the film. I think the movie is worth seeing once in the theater at a matinee price if you are a Tarantino and if you are not a Tarantino, fan wait for Red Box.

This is 40? Ok....Then I Guess This Is My Review

 

My wife and I watched 'This is 40' a few days ago.  And..well, lets just say that its not what we expected. We were expecting a non-stop comedy but what we received was a mirror; a look at a married couple that was eerily similar to ours.  It was slightly comedic, slightly poignant, very real, and not as good a movie as I have come to expect from Judd Apatow.

Paul Rudd did Paul Rudd.  He was supposed to act like a child and did a good job of it.
Leslie Mann did Leslie Mann.  She was supposed to be a mother of 2, a wife to 1 and an overbearing nag to everyone.  She did a good job as well.
Albert Brooks plays the same character he plays in everyone movie; a slightly neurotic, jerky, moop.  And, of course, he does a splendid job.

So....if you're reading this you think that everything is hunky doory...right?  WRONG!

The script was sub par- it put the couple in the midst of a financial crisis but didnt do a good job of saying how they got there?  (signing one shitty artist wouldnt put you in the lurch; neither would having one thieving employee).  The children were sometimes funny but mostly angsty.  I get that the teen was supposed to be a handful but she came off as more disgruntled than anything else.

Melissa McCarthy was wasted in her small role as were John Lithgow, Jason Segel, Charlene Yi and HELL, everyone!  The movie had great promise but just died before it really got started.

Great cast, bad script.  Redbox it. 

Obligatory 'Hunger Games' post

My review of The Hunger Games in Yes/No fashion:

Yes, I saw it.

Yes, I read the books.

Yes, I loved the books and mostly liked the movie.

Yes, I pictured the Black characters as Black and that the others were non-minorities.

No, I didnt picture Lenny Kravitz as Cinna.  Yes, I thought he did a descent job even though they chopped the hell out of his part.  

No, I didnt picture Haymitch as Woody Harrelson.  Yes, I am looking forward to the other two movies to see how they allow his character to develop.

Yes, I thought Elizabeth Banks was wasted in her role.  No, I dont think she is a great actress but there are other people in Hollywood who can play a faceless tutor that are less expensive than her.

Yes, I was truly disappointed with the way they did the tributes entrance into the Games. I pictured the fire suits significantly more glorious than the little spark they were wearing.

Yes, I was surprised to see Josh Hutcherson as Peeta.  I dont think he has the chops to pull off the acting required of him in the other two books but we shall see. 

No, I was NOT surprised by Jennifer Lawrence being cast as Katniss.  She has SERIOUS CHOPS.  Remember 'Winter's Bone'.

Book trilogy grade=10/10
1st book grade=9/10
Movie version of first book=8/10

Late Night Movies That Shouldnt Be Missed

We all have had late nights where we cant sleep or where we are up with the newborn because they cant sleep.  Well, I have had more than my fair share of these nights recently because of the new baby in my house and have discovered that there are alot of good but not well publicized movies out there (flops, independent films, etc.).

Here is a list of some of my recent favorites:

• Its Kind of a Funny Story (Keir Gilchrest, Emma Roberts)
• Great film that shows that happens when you get out of your head and start living life.  **I should watch this again and take notes**
• Welcome to the Rileys (Kristen Stewart, James Gandolfini, Melissa Leo)
• Want to save a kid from themselves?  Watch this first.  Sometimes it works...sometimes there is too much damage to repair.  
• The Winning Season (Emma Roberts, Sam Rockwell)
• Life have no direction?  Drinking/drugging yourself into loserdom one day at a time? Watch this movie to cheer yourself up...or learn how to really destroy yourself; the right way. 
• Paper Man  (Emma Stone, Jeff Daniels)
• Another directionless lead suffering from depression and other savior flying in to save the day.  Now reverse those roles, mix up the actors and watch this movie with an open mind and you will find a gem of a film that teaches you what to do when stuck in a rut.

All four of these movies have EXCELLENT casts in well chosen roles.  In fact, they remind of what movies were like when I was growing up; well written, well thought out, well directed...a sadly lost art.

Thanksgiving Blockbusters--Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 VS The Muppets

So, yes...I have children.  I do wonderful things for my children like feed them and clothe them and educate them and ensure that they have a roof over their head and occasionally even take them to the movies. 

This Thanksgiving weekend I decided to take two of them to see movies that I knew they would love even though I knew that they would be movies that I would most assuredly loathe. 

First up was Breaking Dawn, Pt. 1. 
I have to admit that I have only read the 2nd book (New Moon) but have seen all of the movies.  I regard them as a guilty, teen-angst-riddled, pleasure.  I dont expect much from the plot or the acting except to be mildly entertained by the mindlessness of the dialogue and the ferociousness of the action scenes.  That said, Breaking Dawn, Pt. 1 SUCKED!!!  I went in with medium expectations and found myself laughing OUT LOUD at the acting, the dialogue, the editing, the make up, EVERYTHING! 

Getting married at 18?  Dumb, but it happens.  Your new husband allowing you to spend time with your best friend, who not so secretly loves you, at your wedding?   Highly unlikely...but hey, he is a nice guy.  Having bed destroying sex on your honeymoon?  Stranger things have happened.  Your father hearing that you are in a hospital while on your honeymoon and not flying there to check on you even if you ask him not to?  Never gonna happen.  Your father knowing you are in a hospital after 3 weeks and still not coming to check on you?  Hell no.  See where I am going with this?  I know that the movie is a fantasy, etc. but you are asking too much...and this is only 30 minutes into the 2 hour movie.  The rest of the movie was filled with horribly written dialogue (I am going to blame this on THIS screenplay writer because the other movies werent nearly as bad) badly CGI'd action sequences, and the worst Bella-is-injured/dying make-up of the series.  I was in the theater thinking, 'Dear God, when will this end.'  I will go see the final movie next year but only because I have to finish what I started but DAMN!!!!!!!!!!! 

Next, The Muppets
When I first saw the trailer for this movie a few months ago I decided that this would be the first movie my 2 year old and I see together.  So on opening Day, I decide to take my 2 year to her first matinee and, once again, go in with LOW expectations.  I mean, its The Muppets, designed to entertain children, how good can I expect it to be?  I was sooooooooo WRONG.  This movie is a pure treat.  The plot was mildly conceivable, the dialogue was witty, the acting was very good, the songs were memorable.  Everything about this movie was good enough to make me not only want to see it again (hell, there are alot of crappy movies that I will see multiple times.  See the above review as an example of such) but it was good enough for me to tell others to spend OVER PRICED THEATER MONEY to see it.  The actors and director did an outstanding job entertaining the adults who grew up with the Muppets while speaking to their children (most of whom are younger than Selena Gomez who, in her cameo admits that she doesnt remember the Muppets). 

The only complaint I have about this movie is actually not about the movie but about the studio, Disney.  STOP FRONT LOADING YOUR MOVIES WITH SO MANY DAMN TRAILERS!!  Any parent who has taken a child under the age of 5 to the movies knows that you have a limited amount of time with that child before they become more interested in whats on the floor of the movie theater than whats on the screen.  My 2 year old, who has been watching movies at home with me since birth, sat VERY quietly through no less than 20 MINUTES OF TRAILERS!  20 minutes for a movie aimed at a children under 8 years old.  Are you kidding me?  The problem with this is that she ended up walking around the theater for the last 20 minutes of the movie because her attention span was exhausted. 

So, to recap:
Breaking Dawn--SUCKS! (wait for the DVD/Blu Ray from Netflix)
The Muppets--VERY ENJOYABLE (spend matinee money)
Trailers for kid movies--limit them to 2 trailers or charge us a little more for the tickets so that we can skip them altogether. 

Movies that discuss the trials and tribulations of family life--Top 5 list

Sorry that I have been away for so long.  My wife and I recently added to our brood and so now baby makes 5!  As I type I am working on approx 6 hours sleep and a hunger headache but I vow to power through for you, my devoted reader (the fact that its singular is not a typo--smile). 

So here is my list of the 5 best, most realistic, movies that should be studied by newlyweds to give them an idea of life after "I do" (insert stupid Kardashian joke here). 

WARNING:  Spoilers jumping around like Seabiscuit siring mares at his studly retirement home. 

5.  For Keeps (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095169/):  This movie was my first introduction to Hollywood trying to take family life seriously.  The high school seniors, who are in love, make an 'oops' baby, get married, try to go to college, almost get divorced, then realize that they love each other and are going to try to make it work.  Descent movie but what I love most about it is my mother's statement to me when the credits were rolling, "Son, that doesnt happen in real life.  If you get a girl pregnant while you are in high school your life is over...".  Gee, thanks Mom (smile).

4. She's Having a Baby (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096094/):  Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern star as a newlywed couple starting a family.  He is scared shitless and she is intent on having the ideal family 'now'!  Makes for an interesting premise and a good movie.   Movie shows what a man is thinking when his wife is pregnant (OH SHIT!) and what a woman is thinking while he is standing there dimwitted (Did I really marry THIS guy?!  OH SHIT!)

3. Love Actually (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0314331/):  Now only a segment of this movie is marriage centered so you have to stick with me here....The segment that revolves around Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson.  The stupidity of Alan Rickman, flirting with the office whore, and the hurt/devastation of Emma Thompson as she finds out about it are two things that every couple hopes they never encounter.  The fact that they are portrayed so perfectly in the movie is a credit to the actors and the script.  The fact that they are being mentioned in this blog is a credit to me because I recognize that while every couple hopes their experience doesnt mimic whats in this movie there will certainly be some obstacles that they will have to face and this movie is an excellent guide for how to handle such conflicts AMICABLY!

2. Fools Rush In (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119141/);  This movie is best described as what 'Our Family Wedding' was trying to be.  This is an absolute must see for any couple that comes from two completely different backgrounds/cultures/societies.  Salma Hayek takes an excellent turn as a 'very Latina woman' that comes from a 'very Latino family' and Matthew Perry does his usual 'Chandler-esque' best as 'the White man without a clue'.  This movie succeeds because it shows us that family differences really dont matter as long as the two who are married are devoted to each other and the success of their marriage. 

1.  The Story of Us (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0160916/):  Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer star in this movie as a couple that has been married for 15 years but is considering divorce.  The film, directed by co-star Rob Reiner, does an excellent job of showing the ups and downs of married and family life.  If you are going to watch one movie from this list it should be this!!!  This movie helps explain how good marriages go bad and how, sometimes even love cant conquer all...at least not before 120 minutes have passed and we need the Hollywood ending to bring in the audience.  

Colombiana: Hoping that it goes well for Zoe

Ok...you wont find me doing this often but I am actually rooting for the underdog with this post. 

I say underdog because 'Colombiana' its going up against the unlikely juggernaut, 'The Help', along with other previously released movies AND this weekend's new releases: 'Our Idiot Brother' (Paul Rudd's latest comedic vehicle) and 'Dont Be Afraid of the Dark' (the likely VERY SHITTY horror movie starring Katie 'I was on track to become a great actress before I married Tom Cruise and became content to be better known as Mrs. Tom Cruise' Holmes).  Unfortunately for 'Colombiana' Paul Rudd is an established good laugh and will likely draw R-rated visitors that would instead go see Saldana's film (R-rated comedy and PG-13 violent films target the same audience: 15 year old boys <smile>). 

'Colombiana' starring Zoe Saldana opens this weekend to, what I hope will be, stunning reviews.  According to IMDB they spent approx $40 Mil on this film which  means it needs to earn a gross of at least $50 Mil in 3 months to make Saldana a glorified STAR.  Having followed since her debut in 'Center Stage' I am a huge fan; not only is she quite beautiful but she also has TALENT (something sorely lacking in many of today's Hollywood starlets).  But the film wont earn this amount without your help.  Other than Angelina Jolie's 'Salt' and 'Tomb Raider', female action movies usually dont fare well.  In this male dominated society, we have a hard time picturing someone with beauty and grace kicking ass and taking names but when we do take the time to go see these films we go in droves (see box office receipts of the previously mentioned movies as proof). 

So, here is my best pitch to you for seeing 'Colombiana' by Zoe Saldana:
She made you swoon as the blue girl in Avatar, you laughed at her dating misfortune in Guess Who (with newly minted 2.5 Men star Ashton 'dont call me Mr. Demi Moor' Kutcher), and she made fans of all of you Trekkies with her turn as the Spock-loving Uhura in the 'Star Trek' reboot so please, for the love of everything that makes you want more minority actresses that are equal parts eye candy and talent...PLEASE GO SEE THIS FUCKING MOVIE!  

*I will be there this weekend; even if I have to be the person with the 2 year old in the front row taking trips to the potty every 10 minutes*